Alright, Alright. I went back to soon, but can you blame me...

Blame it on my stubbornness, blame it on my pride, whichever you blame, it's still me. Yes, I'm still sick. I needed my karate like a junky needs his drug. I was getting antsy, restless, and just plain tired of being couped up in a house full of sick people. I was past the contagious part of this cold, and I made sure I didn't cough on anyone so I'm all good.

Driving down to Appleton from De Pere has become a period of preparedness for me... I think about what I want to accomplish and get motivated by the music coming from my CD player. Today it was raining, so I had to pay more attention to the road because of it being extra slick and people just driving crazy. The music and being alone was enough motivation and it also put me into a better frame of mind. The week's stress just slowly drained away the closer I got to Appleton. I reflected on the little disagreement Rob and I had this morning and it was due to being couped up in the house and being tired of being sick and not being able to do what I wanted to do. I made a mental note to apologize for my crabbiness once I get home and the girls are in bed. I was feeling much better already, my mental state was getting to where it should be rather than knotted up like a little ball and waiting for the slightest thing to set me off. It's truly amazing what this sport has made me accomplish in such a short time. Now I was able to focus on what I wanted to accomplish tonight, reviewing mentally in my head, I knew I had to focus on power and strength in my techniques in kihon and proper timing in wunsu with the many different foot stances. I had so many questions I needed answered. Okay, I have my game plan, now to execute it. I was on a mission. To kick the cold out of my system and to get some much needed work done.

Upon arrival, I noticed that Karla was sitting in the observation area, gave her a quick hi wave, and headed to the change room. I've been gone for 4 classes, Tuesday, Thursday and the two classes on Saturday, lots can happen in that time span. I saw hanging up on the gei lockers, Karla's new GREEN belt.. she was promoted!!! I was happy for her but also disappointed that I missed watching the promotion. I got dressed quickly and headed out to the observation area. As I rounded the corner, she looked up and I smiled and I said, "You little stinker, you never told me you were getting promoted" then I told her to give me a high five (which now I kind of chuckle at now because that's what I do with my girls when they do something exceptional - Karla took it all in stride though, she's sooo cool that way). I noticed that Karla's son, Beau, was also promoted, he was sporting a new blue belt. I sat and watched the kids class finish up. Smiling when I saw them struggle with getting their techniques just right, thinking about when my own daughters will be doing the same thing in a few more years. Then it was our turn. Tom, our dojo's brown belt was also getting promoted tonight, to his second degree brown, there are three levels, he was on his third when the class started. While we did our warm up, Tom had his own assignments he had to meet for the physical requirements, 30 laps around the dojo, 150 front kicks, 2 minutes 15 minutes on the bag for upper body, and a whole slew of other things, abdominal workouts, leg drills, etc... During our warm up, I was asking Sensei about my promotion what the physical requirements were, he said, "pretty much the same thing, but we give lower belts less repetitions". My first thought was, "OHHHHHHHH JOY... I'm going to knock myself out even before I get promoted with all the running (I am big busted... haha)" Then thought, oh well, at least it's not tonight. As we did our regular warm up, I felt the week's tension leaving, I felt great.

Sensei then started our Ippon drills. This is when I realized I was coming back too soon... not even into Ippon #3 I was already winded. By the time I was doing my 5th Ippon, I was sweating and breathing hard. I was trying to control my breathing so Sensei wouldn't get me to rest (that's my stubbornness coming out and a little bit of pride), by the time I went over them again, I was feeling the sweat going down my back, the breathing was apparent now. Sensei asked me to go through my Ippons by myself and work out any issues I might have. I worked myself into a huge sweat, letting my pride play a huge role in not giving up to my fatigue. I went through them again, making sure I was using my proper stances, and using the floor for extra power in my punches and blocks. Sensei then switched things into doing Kihon... we did this for a while, then started doing kata. All the time, I felt like my body was rebelling against me. My body was crying out to me, "stop, you're not ready to come back" meanwhile, my heart and mind were telling me, "just a bit more, you can do it, just take your time" Sensei then came over to me, to see what issues I was having with the kata. I let him know that this was an Isshinryu/Shuri Ryu conflict again. Trying to do a kata that I was familiar with but in a different style. I also let him know I was trying to get the timing and stances correct. He smiled his knowing smile. This is what I love about Sensei, he teaches me not as a white belt, but as someone who has previous experience in the martial arts. He knows that I'm a perfectionist and knows I will not move forward until I have perfected the first sequences. I have the whole kata, he taught me it, now he sees I'm asking to tweek it and make it better.

We begin the opening, shows me the proper way of standing, how your feet should go out with this move, how they should transition to the next move with the next hand movements, and so on... he gives me the opening and two moves.. then says, work on that... I worked on the opening and the two moves for the remainder of the class. Focusing all my strength and energy into perfecting those small movements and transitions. A sign of a good sensei is letting your student work independently and then watch without watching from a distance. After much personal critiquing, I finally have those movements down. I'm satisfied with what I did. I look up and notice Sensei watching from the area where he's working with Tom, gives me a smile and a head nod. I DID GOOD.

This is going to be an upward battle for me, I'm hoping that as I become more physical, my body will become more healthier and more immune to the colds and flus out there. I now know I came back too soon. I've got a sweat soaked gei that I just put into the wash to be cleaned again. My body told me it was too soon, but my heart and soul told me to go and get what I needed. I feel great but extremely exhausted, now it's time for a shower.